Seven years ago I gave birth to a healthy boy who changed everything about me and my life. Before his birth I was an optimistic person who only thought of the fun things that would make my day. I was an immature girl without a care in the world. After his birth I grew up, stopped partying, and took on the responsibility that was gifted to me. It has not been a breezy walk along the shores of the beach, but more like a steep climb up a precipitous and rocky mountain. Yet having my son is not something that I would give up no matter how hard it is.
Before the birth of my son I was an optimistic person who only thought of the fun things that would make my day. I was an immature girl without a care in the world. I remember spending my days with friends and traveling between our beautiful islands of the Northern Marianas, not worrying about anything or about spending too much of my parents’ money. I enjoyed spending my summer days at the beach walking along the shores, collecting sea shells, and going for a swim. I enjoyed going to parties just to enjoy time and eat all the delicious food I could put on my plate.
I enjoyed going to festivals to play games, watch dance competitions, and spend my money on food that were delicious at each vendor. I remember drinking and dancing the nights away with my friends. I remember always going out to the Aquarius Club on Friday nights with friends just to drink and dance. I’d get so intoxicated with alcoholic beverages that I’d end up drunk. I’d dance with my friends and just enjoy the great time I’m having in the club until I was ready to go back home. I always had the time to sleep as long as I wanted to after a crazy night out.
I remember just going to school and completing my assignments on time without any hassle. I had so much time to myself. I remember playing video games, surfing the internet, or just watching television all day if I had no homework. I remember just going to school, partying, and having a great time. But seven years ago, November 01, 2003 it all changed, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy my son Divine Joe. The day I went in to the hospital to give birth to him was a very exciting day, I checked in at Commonwealth Health Center at 10:00 in the morning; the Doctor was oing to induce me at 12:00pm.
I remember just lying there on the bed being so excited wanting him to be out already. The midwife and nurses came in and hooked me up to the IV and baby monitors. At 6:30 pm I was fully dilated and my water bag hadn’t broken so the midwife broke it for me. And that is when I started wishing it would really all just end. The pain was so excruciating I thought I was going to die, but it did not last long. At 8:05 pm my baby boy was born and he was just perfect to me. The unbearable and exhausting pain I had gone through was worth it. I had never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I had never been puked on, pooped on, chewed on, or peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I could sleep all day or all night, basically anytime I wanted too. I had never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots. I had never looked into teary eyes and cried. I had never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I had never sat up late hours at night watching a baby go to sleep or having to wake up every ten minutes in the middle of the night just to make sure everything was okay with him.
I had never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put him down. I had never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the pain he was going through. I had never known that something so small, like a baby, could affect my life so much. I had never known that I could love being a parent. I hadn’t known the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I hadn’t known that something so small, like a baby, could make me feel so important and happy. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a parent.
I hadn’t known that I was capable of feeling so much more. When the midwife put my son in my arms he was so soft and warm. His eyes were open and so bright. I remember crying and thinking to myself wow this is my son, a precious part of me and he is just adorable. His birth changed everything about me and my life, it was an unexpected gift. Having my son was the greatest thing to happen to me; it changed my life for the good qualities. After his birth I grew up, stopped partying, and took on the responsibility that was gifted to me because he gave me purpose in this world.
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